Sunday, September 27, 2009

What I am is what I am, are you what you are, or what?

Sometimes, I don't like her. The part of me that's cranky and yells at her boyfriend or tries to tell him what to do. Or, the part that whines to her best friends about the silly dramas in her life or doesn't call her sisters as much as she should. I don't like the part of me either, that procrastinates schoolwork because she's scared of not doing a good job (so hell, why work on it at all?)
I do have to remember, however, that I like those parts because they're part of a whole, a human. Even a funny one at times, and one who tries hard keep things in order. She has lots of things on her plate, like work and school, which are great at making crankies, and things she'd like more time for, like friends, family, exercise, cooking and sleeping, and then the typical you're-an-adult-now-here-you-go stuff, like taking care of the house and saving money for the future. (The Jeep won't last forever!)
See, not it makes more sense to me, why she gets cranky sometimes...why the house doesn't get vacuumed as much as it maybe should, why sometimes she just wants to watch TV and eat a peanut butter sandwich and ice cream.
I guess I get it now, why sometimes the ugly parts show up first, but it doesn't mean I have to like it!

Monday, September 21, 2009

Look alive!

Wow. Well, I sure don't feel well! Of course I realized this AFTER I got to work, so now I'm stuck. I hate leaving work sick. It just seems a little messy.
I wasn't feeling well yesterday but by bedtime, and this morning, I felt better! Wahhhh
Hmph. Maybe I should have stayed home.

I would have dragged myself to class tonight anyway, so I supposed it's all well and good. At least this way I'm right here and just have to live through the day and then...two hours of class. Please God, let it go quickly...

Happy Monday! hahaha

Friday, September 18, 2009


I'm really exciting on Friday nights.
When I got home from work I...swept and mopped the floors, cleaned the bathroom (attacked the ever-resistant orange crap in the bathtub tile) and vacuumed. Also washing my sheets and other random articles of clothing that have just about taken up residence in my laundry basket.

And THEN...wait for it....I'm going to...

Wow. The funny thing is, I like nights like this. My roommate will be back in a bit; she left for a jog. My boyfriend will be on his way shortly too, and we'll go for dinner and a jaunt around our beloved Whole Foods. Don't need anything. We just go and browse and sometimes leave with a bar of soap or a bag of cereal (Three Sisters brand; try it sometime!)

Tomorrow will be more studying + a birthday party. I love Saturdays!!
Finally. The weekend. I think the Friday night scrub down makes me feel a bit like I'm purging the week and taking on the freedom of the weekend. A little transition ceremony, I suppose.

Happy Friday!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa

This week is going by so fast. It's Wednesday (almost) already! Two classes down, one to go. Getting to work early so I can leave in time for class. No small feat with deadlines and deliverables! Makes for long days, too. Tonight was the night that the reality of my workload hit - I opted out of yoga so I could stay in and organize my calendar and thoughts on my upcoming assignments. I was feeling overwhelmed, which often just paralyzes me. When I recognize that that's happening, I have to focus and pick some specific task to work on. Just keep on truckin' and it all gets done.
Tonight I started outlining one of my books for my Divorce class.
My feelings about marriage go back and forth as I read all this data. Some of it is promising, some of it is depressing, some of it is just downright frightening. All of it, however, is real. I can only hope and expect to see a variety of situations in my future practice as a therapist.

I should do Happy Homemaker Tuesday (is that taboo? I missed Monday). I find it amusing, given the fact that I haven't cooked in a while and I don't have many 'crafts' on hand, except to fix the silverware drawer (um, not a craft). See?

The weather: Beautiful! Today was warm (high 70's?) and sunny. Tomorrow...ooh I think it's supposed to rain. High near 70.

One of my simple pleasures: Playing with Raina and her laser toy. Cats + lasers crack me up. Great study break. Good exercise for her, too. Her and those baggy armpits she has.

On my nightstand: Huh. I'm noticing the eclectic mix going on. Moisturizer, a tupperware that housed trail mix before I inhaled it during my class, two tent stakes, my glasses. More permanent fixtures: my lotus jewelry holder, lamp, and old picture of my grandparents.
I think this category is usually reserved for books? I have too high of a stack to go on TOP of my nightstand. Instead, they live on the floor in front.

On my TV: This is where this list gets embarrassing. I do it to myself. Anyway, there's nothing on the TV. Dust. I watched it last Friday, actually. Say Yes to the Dress. Some brides scare me.

On the menu tonight: Frozen waffles with a smidgen of peanut butter. I'm a grad student.

On my To Do List: Fix the broken silverware drawer. Study. Vacuum. Clean the windows. Study.

New recipe I tried last week: I didn't! Mwah ha ha

In the craft basket: Why am I even filling this list out?

Looking forward to: Celebrating H2's birthday this weekend and Saturday morning yoga.

Homemaking tip for the week: Put away a ton of money and hand it over to the association so they can fix the deck.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

I want this hat!

As I was in child's pose, first pose of the morning, I had this experience of my Third Eye looking straight down through my mat, through the wooden floor, and into the inner workings of the brick building in which the Yoga Joint is housed; it was such a gift to open to. I had woken up this morning and of course, contemplated staying in bed, letting the rain start my day slowly. However, once I found myself amidst Tracy's beautiful back bending class, I knew it was where I was supposed to be today.

Her classes test my strength and at times I'm wondering if she's simply creating Twister poses in her head and instructing us through them out of sheer wonder if our bodies can possibly twist that way.

They do. If not, we laugh. We rest. We breathe.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Feel Your Way Away

I was cheering on a Daddy longlegs this weekend and trying to encourage him to NOT head straight for a cobweb. He was feeling around with his big weird legs and I was saying 'Feel your way away' over and over again, not realizing that I must have do you say...crazy? Meanwhile, Bob was trying to get my attention for something and I was busy rooting for the bug. Eventually, he found his opportunity to mimic the way I was saying 'Feel your way away' and now I have it in my head. Still 3 days later.

Oh, the end of a long weekend. And man, has it been long! I feel like I was last in the office in another lifetime. It was only four days ago!

The camping trip was a success! I heart mess kits and sleeping bags and S'more sticks (thanks Justin for assisting in the stick hunt). We set up camp in no time and I picked up my books. Yes, homework came with me into the woods. The weather was beautiful and our campsite was in full-sun both days. Think we got a little bit of color out there! Thank goodness for the single cup Keurig machine and the outlet in the back of Potato's truck. Helped us along on a 3 mile walk Saturday morning to a nearby stream.

Our second night, HJE came by and we played on the playground up the hill for a while. Ella made her first s'more and had a blast playing in the tent. Hope said maybe next year they'd come and stay a night!

Yesterday we woke up early, packed up, and headed home. Sad. I ended up cleaning my house a bit and continuing with homework. Bob came by in the afternoon and we just mellowed out. He was exhausted and ended up going to bed early; I trucked along in my book for school and then switched over to Ram Dass for a while once I was in bed. Thank you Amazon Kindle for the iPhone app! Would like to balance my school-reading with good ol' fiction (or spiritual guides, eh?) once in a while.

Today, Bob wasn't feeling so hot so we did a lot of nothing (which was just perfect for a Labor Day) and I finished the book I started this weekend for my Divorce class! We did get out for a little bit; went out to a boat sale nearby, then to our favorite natural food shop for a piece of pizza and Stop and Shop for the basics. After an afternoon nap (on his part), he took me out for dinner and we watched a Walt Disney Goofy cartoon - The Art of Skiing - before he left. I'm officially 30, but sometimes I feel about 7. And I like it that way!

I feel like I could do better in terms of the way I'm blogging tonight but I'm too tired to rewrite in order to sound more exciting, ha ha. This will have to do! It's time to pack my school stuff up for tomorrow and get a good night's sleep. Whoa. It's only 8:40! Guess the weekend tired me out more than I realized :)

Happy Labor Day!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Ruh Roh

Last night I was driving home from class thinking 'What have I gotten myself into? Is this really what I want to be doing?' I still had enough logic to realize that I was starving and tired and this was affecting my mood. And, I had just received the second syllabus of my three classes and most likely just feeling a little overwhelmed. I certainly DO want to be in grad school. I DO want to have a job that is more meaningful for me.
It was kind of a scary moment - that brief second guessing about the decision I've made. Maybe it's just that I haven't made a big decision in a while, so I'm just making sure I'm on the same wavelength as my insides.

Tonight I will head over to my boyfriend's place and we'll get the truck all packed up to go camping for the weekend! I'm looking forward to it. The nights have been cool, which is always really nice when camping. I'll miss the cat, of course. I always do!

I am feeling pretty lazy about getting myself off to work this morning. I should keep moving.
Have a great day everyone!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Yahoo for Yoga!

Remember that blog where I was like 'I'm going to right about my journey with movement and exercise and blah blah blah'...That's great and all, but then I pretty much stopped exercising after that. ha ha ha. I've walked here and there (does all day at Disney count?) and made a commitment to exercise a couple times a week during the school semester. It sounds silly, like, 'wow, you really can't find time to exercise?' but I've noticed, during previous semesters, that it really is hard to find the time! The key is to MAKE the time and make moving a priority.
So anyway.
Last night I treated myself to a yoga class at my favorite studio around. It was lovely! I wanted to set my mind on the right track before getting swept away in the semester. It worked! I'm refueled and remotivated to stay close to my center and keep my body strong during this time.

PS: I'm so excited that it's September. I worship Fall.